omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Randomize
