I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
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just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
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Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
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