she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
I have aggressive nipples.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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