yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
