she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
You can't date a girl from every country.
I'm the captain planet of women
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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