I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
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look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
We've reached the point in our fuck buddy relationship where we are playing words with friends. This is too intimate.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
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