I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
I checked into jail on foursquare
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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