Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Randomize