hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
When are your genitals available?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
