Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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