forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
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I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
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our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
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