oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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