Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
I wouldn't fuck her. Looks like her vagina smells like a seaside orgy.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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