Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
