so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
New drink: empty coke can vodka water maple syrup. Get on my level
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
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