You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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