Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
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