Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
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He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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