mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Everything about him screamed your future.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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