i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
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