im drinking this country out of the recession.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Randomize
