yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
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