Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
Randomize