dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Maybe I should forgo underwear.
This is a family BBQ no?
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
