batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
It's official drugs can't kill me
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
His nipple licking is glorious
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