My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Randomize
