omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
