dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
