so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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