i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
