ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
Randomize
