It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
