that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
