everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
whose ass print is on the piano?
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
