he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I was packing a bowl naked and her dog just stared at me with pure rage
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
My dad just informed me that I may be entitled to $1700 worth of stimulus money... looks like that hitachi is coming sooner than later. Let's hope for the best!
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