Your face is a jimmy john
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
Randomize
