Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
