Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
We need a shit load of segways right now
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
Randomize