my soul wont recognize me after tonight
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
should my penis look like a turkey
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
