we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Success! We fucked roommates!
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