porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
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I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
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The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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