belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
