so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been a long time since I got "Talk about Glen's enormous penis" drunk
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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