so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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