somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
Randomize
