summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
we made out on top of his cat.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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