I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
