I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
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