I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
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