Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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