you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
No matter how many miles separate us, I will always be here to get you through whiskey shots.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
last night I used snow as a chaser
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
