i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
