I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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