Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
worst night to have a conscience
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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