This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize
