Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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