you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
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