she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
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