theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
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My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
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I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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