Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
